Irrelevant
by Rochellena
Summary: Serena van der Woodsen was not an insecure person, but she almost destroyed the happiness of the two most important people in her life because she felt that their their mutual affection meant she had become irrelevant in their lives.  D/B, Serena's PoV
1. Chapter 1

Note: My first real attempt. Hopefully this will be multi-chaptered. There will be more DB coming up, but the whole story (with the possible exception of the ending) will be told from Serena's perspective. I am sure this is riddled with mistakes and flaws, and I will always welcome constructive criticism.

* * *

><p>Serena van der Woodsen was not an insecure person. She could be a flaky person, a selfish person, and even on occasion, a manipulative person, but Serena was not an insecure person. Why should she be? She was beautiful, charismatic, and fabulously wealthy. She had friends who supported her, a family that loved her, and fans who adored her. She was very aware she lived a life that most could only dare to dream of, but she tried, though rarely succeeded, to not let herself be defined by her social status as the Upper East Side's "golden it girl. She knew she could have whatever she wanted in life, well almost anything, but she almost destroyed the happiness of the two most important people in her life because she felt that their their mutual affection meant she was no longer needed in their lives. She was afraid that she would become irrelevant, and that was not a feeling that Serena van der Woodsen was use to.<p>

XOXO

Serena knew her relationship with Dan would never be what it once was. Daniel Humphrey had come into her life and changed things for her. He helped show her what it was to be liked for who you are and not who you know. He helped her realize that she was a lot more than just a dazzling smile and golden hair. She had loved him as much as she knew how, and at one point they were happy, so very happy. Of course, everything wasn't perfect; they, like everyone, had their issues. She had bad habit of concealing the truth from him and he was known to be a little self-righteous. She lied because he judged, he judged because she lied. They continued trying to make their relationship work, but they found themselves falling into the same pattern of destruction over and over. Eventually, the final blow was struck. The marriage of her mother to his father and the discovery of a long lost lovechild. Unrealistic expectations and shadowy pasts could be worked on and forgotten, but a shared sibling was hard to overcome.

XOXO

Still, they tried to make whatever it was between them, work, but while Dan began to mature and let his judgements fall to the side, Serena had a harder time being able to focus all her attention on him for an extended period of time. She didn't mean to be cruel, but she was a person of joy and desire, so she tended to live her life for whatever was giving her the most joy at a time. She didn't know when she began treating Dan less as her first love and more as her security blanket, and there was never malice in her actions, but, as she later learned, she did inflict pain. Every time she used him as a safety net, their bond became a little weaker, a little more frayed, and a little less secure. Even when she discovered that all his attention was no longer focused on her, she worried little. Serena trusted that Dan would always see her as his golden icon, his dream girl, his muse, but by time she decided to give their relationship all of her effort and concentration, she discovered that he had a new muse.

XOXO

He had had other girlfriends in the past, and Serena had not cared. He had claimed to be in love with another girl, but Serena had not worried. The first time Serena ever began to question his undying devotion to her, was when she discovered he had been keeping his new friendship a secret from her. If they were only friends, then why the need for lies? He claimed embarrassment of the connection and once again, declared that it was only a friendship. Under normal circumstances, Serena would have taken his word and gone back to her blissful entitlement of his love, but this time felt different to her. She was never the most observant person, but this time, she felt like something big had happened, and she still unaware of it. A change had occurred in Dan, and yet, she couldn't quite place it, but eventually, she grew tired of trying to unravel his mystery, and she ignored it. When she looks back at those moments, she is annoyed with herself for not seeing and understanding what was standing right in front her. Maybe, if she had paid more attention, and cared just a little more, then she would have seen it, and possibly even have stopped it. Though in her deepest heart, she knows she couldn't have stopped it because while she was off playing in other gardens, Dan had began writing a new story, and she was no longer the star. When Serena looks back at that night, she realizes that she should have known what was to come. After all, Dan Humphrey and Blair Waldorf kissing was not just another ordinary day.

XOXO

* * *

><p>Note 2: I hope you liked it!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Note: Hopefully this is entertaining to some of you. I have had this idea in my head for a while and I really just want to try this whole writing thing out. I have a pretty good idea of where I want this story to go, so hopefully I can do that. I hope you enjoy or at least tolerate.

* * *

><p>Serena and Blair had been best friends since they were five. It was a friendship that pleased their parents, afterall, the Upper East Side was all about whose name you knew, and there were few who didn't know the names van der Woodsen and Waldorf. It was also a friendship that confused those who didn't understand. On the outside, there could be no two girls who were more different. Serena was tall, blonde, warm, and lived for pure, uninhibited fun, while Blair was petite, brunette, calculating, and expected from perfection everything and everyone around her. They hated each other and fought as often as they loved each other and hugged. One pushed and the other pulled. On the outside, they made no sense, but to Serena and Blair, they were sisters. When Serena would forget to do an assignment, Blair would convince the teacher that she needed another day, when Blair spilled paint all over her dress, Serena spilled paint all over hers too. As they got older, this pattern continued. Serena would come to school drunk and Blair would blackmail the headmistress into ignoring it, Blair would throw up her lunch because she had gained half a pound and Serena would rub her back and tell her she was perfect the way she was. One would fall and the other would lift.<p>

XOXO

Serena had done bad things to Blair and Blair had forgiven her. Even when Serena had slept with Nate, Blair's first love, and ran away without saying good bye, Blair had forgiven her and Serena had always forgiven Blair when Blair's insecurities about her body, family, and future caused her to be spiteful towards Serena. This was part of their friendship dance. Serena had never set out to purposefully inflict pain on her best friend; it was never out of cruelty or dislike; it was just that sometimes Serena didn't think of Blair at all, not from unkindness, but because Serena enjoyed drifting from one moment of happiness to the next and why should she worry, Blair would always forgive her. Serena would never hurt Blair on purpose and because of this, Blair would always forgive.

XOXO

Serena had never been jealous of Blair before, especially regarding their appeal to men. Serena wasn't arrogant, but she was simply confident in her golden hair, long legs, and sunny disposition. She knew she could have any man she wanted, but had learned, from personal experience of course, that she her friendship with Blair was worth more than her gratification from getting what she wanted. Serena had never been jealous of Blair before, so when she felt that she was far angrier than she should be, she was confused. Dan and Blair were just friends; there was nothing to be that upset about. Later, when she tried to destroy Blair's relationship with Louis Grimaldi, prince of Monaco, she was still confused by her motivations. She was now actively trying to hurt Blair, but why? Serena decided to classify it as simple revenge because of course, Blair did start it.

XOXO

She reasoned that obviously Blair wanted to hurt Serena by pretending be friends with Dan, and then coming up with a ridiculous scheme that involved kissing him. _Again_, Serena thought to herself. _They kissed again. They had kissd before and that one was not part of any scheme. But why?_ Blair hated Dan, and they had nothing in common, so this must be some sort of punishment against Serena. She was honestly confused about Blair's motivations in all of this. Sure, Serena had been busy dealing with drama concerning her mother, Lily, and Ben, her former teacher and now, ex-boyfriend, so she had not paid as much attention to her friend. _Blair wasn't that needy. Was she? And what is this about Blair going with Dan to movies and art exhibits? Did they realize how ludicrious it sounded that Dan Humphrey and Blair Waldorf, enemies from day one, would be willingly spending time together. And hiding it. Why were they hiding it?_ Serena was angry, upset, and confused. Angry that her best friends seemed bored with her, upset that they had lied to her, and confused about why this was bothering her so much.

XOXO


End file.
